The U.S. Census reported that the #1 people move is because of noise. Not crime, not climate.... noise. After living there thirty years, a member of my family recently moved from his once-quiet, middle class neighborhood because the police were unwilling to enforce the noise law and stop the obnoxious boom cars. Along with that element came drugs and crime. Where once proud homeowners kept neat lawns and watched their kids ride their bikes is now a decaying, crime-infested neighborhood with abandoned houses that nobody wants.

The city's fines for noise infractions are ridiculously low and some of the thugs with boom cars actually laminate their citations and hang them from their rear view mirror. Obviously, there is no deterrant and the paltry fines make it economically unfeasible to enforce this law. This is typical of most cities and states, but not all (http://www.noiseoff.org/mississippi.shtml). If our elected officials would stop rearranging chairs on the Titanic, and realize the socio-economic ramifications of lax noise law enforcement, they could stop these contemptuous, inconsiderate morons who are ruining neighborhoods, whole sections of cities, and even whole towns.

Respectable, hard-working tax payers should complain, but they are either afraid of retribution or feel it won't do any good. They are correct that it won't do any good to complain to the police. The police are told what to do by the city council and mayor, so that's where the complaints must be lodged. As far as most law enforcement is concerned, noise is a non issue. They can't be expected to realize what is happening, but our elected "leaders" should. When tax paying citizens flee an area because of noise, that tax base is gone for good. Those people ain't coming back and neither is their tax revenue. In their place we get more of the ignorant, obnoxious thugs who's only achievments are making noise and selling drugs.

It's happening all over America, and probably in your town too. Do you hear those boom cars playing their vulgar rap music that invades your privacy, and offends your sense of values? Do you hear the semis and Harleys with straight pipes that rattle your windows? Do you hear the rednecks with burned out Flowmaster mufflers, 4" tail pipes and deer hunting decals all over the back window? Well, if you don't hear them, consider yourself fortunate. For the rest of us, it's becoming all too familiar. The only people who like this noise are the ones making it, and the "wannabes" who will follow their lead, knowing they can thumb their nose at our laws. Is this the element of our society you want to be in control? Well, wake up because their numbers are growing rapidly.

If you don't complain, it will only get worse. Call your city councilperson, mayor or police chief. Write your state legislators a letter telling them we've had enough. We want the noise laws strengthened and ENFORCED!

OK, I'm sitting here on Sunday morning, editing my third letter to our mayor concerning the prolific, illegal exhaust noise in our town. I've pointed out the social implications of letting this undesirable element continue to contemptuously defy our noise laws, but I think that went right over his head. So my third letter is illustrating the revenue-generating potential of citing these morons with the loud pipes who are contemptuously thumbing their noses at our noise ordinance . The city is always complaining about how broke it is, so here's a way to make some money off of these jerks with loud pipes.

Almost without exception, if you can hear a vehicle's exhaust at all, it's been illegally modified to make more noise. Federal regulations dictate strict noise emmision levels on all new vehicles. During the last hour, I've heard about fifty vehicles out on the highway with illegal exhausts. Motorcycles, SUVs, semis... all with either straight pipes or non-street legal mufflers. When did illegal exhausts become legal anyway? I've contacted our Department of Public Safety, asking why the State Troopers don't cite vehicles with blatantly illegal exhausts. The head of the department replied that "noise is subjective, and they have to measure it to enforce the law... blah, blah, blah" Oh yeah? Since when? I cited our state code that says "ALL vechicles must AT ALL TIMES, have a properly functioning muffler" and removal of baffles, etc. is expressly forbidden. I pretty much called B.S. on his reply and asked him to show me the law that says noise has to be measured to be deemed a nuisance. Sorry, but there's nothing subjective about a jake-braking semi or straight-piped Harley that can be heard a mile away. I got no further response from that public official. Twice I've written to the state Director of the D.O.T. asking why commercial semis with straight pipes are allowed to pass their inspections, in direct violation of state law. No reply.

It's encouraging to see sites like noisefree.org. They are telling all you citizens out there that the law is being broken. Telling you wimps to get off your collective, complacent butts and start complaining. Call or write your city councilman and other elected representitives. Speak up. Tell them you've had enough. Enough of the bad-boy bikers claiming that "loud pipes save lives." What a crock. Loud pipes are nothing more than the look-at-me behavior one expects from a five year old.

Ever notice how it's always the truckers without mufflers who needlessly jake-brake through town, taking every possible opportunity to show us how much noise they can make. These ignorant rednecks delight in rattling our windows with their juvenile behavior... much like a squalling toddler. It's all these degenerates have to offer society, so they cram it down our throats.. and ears. What's scary is that these people reproduce.

I'm also drafting a letter to my State Representative. I don't expect any action from our state legislature. They're too busy voting themselves raises and campaigning for re-election. But at least I'm doing SOMETHING. Are you?

Well, the moderators removed my post from an eBay forum last night. I was doing some more research on the detrimental effects of exposure to excessive noise when the preposterous slogan "loud pipes save lives" popped up again. I compared the slogan to a malodorous, mushy substance that comes from a particular orifice located in a horses posterior. The word could be considered profane I suppose, but it seemed appropriate given the absurdity of that weak attempt to justify juvenile, inconsiderate behavior.

Sorry, but loud pipes do not save lives. The majority of fatal motorcycle accidents are head-on and the majority of noise from loud pipes is BEHIND the motor cycle. Perhaps if bad-boy bikers want to point their exhaust forward, this claim might have a little credibility (while giving the biker a dose of his irritating cacophony heaped on the public). As with all excessive noise, loud pipes irritate people, raise blood pressure, cause anxiety, promote aggressive behavior, and motivate people to demand enforcement of noise ordinances. Loud pipes don't save lives. Loud pipes lose rights.

Our city attorney, commenting on loud exhaust and noise ordinance enforcement, said that loud motorcycles often ruin his peaceful weekends at the beach. He then said, "but I guess that's just the way motorcycles sound." It was quickly pointed out that Harley Davidson must conform to federal noise emission regulations, just like every other manufacturer selling new vehicles in the U.S. There's a good reason for those regulations; to protect citizens' right to the quiet enjoyment of their homes. Motorcycles aren't excessively loud until the owners put illegal pipes on them.

Boom cars are a nuisance too. Does that mean rap saves lives? I think not.

Is it just me, or is there a proliferation of illegal mufflers? It's a growing nuisance even here in our small town. The corner muffler shop owner is getting rich hacking off brand new, factory mufflers and replacing them with the loudest, biggest, most ridiculous pipes I've even seen.

It's the "LOOK-AT-ME" syndrome being perpetrated by our growing, low-brow population and the police are just looking the other way. These morons, driving everything from Harleys to Hondas think it's some kind of status symbol to make noise. Oh yeah, that's quite an accomplishment. Like we don't have enough noise in our life already. (Hell, I swear I think our fire department blows their sirens on the way BACK from a fire!)

Don't get me wrong, I love cars. I like a little rumble coming from a high performance V-8, like the new Corvettes (or the old ones for that matter). And I can understand the teenage loser, saving up for a new Flowmaster for his four cylinder Ford Ranger, thinking that ANY means of being noticed is better than nothing. If his parents had any sense (or any consideration for their neighbors), they would explain to junior that his ride doesn't sound good, it's just loud. Actually, it sounds like a worn out farm tractor. Juvenile desperation to be cool.

Ok, my point is this: if this needless noise bothers you, call your city councilman, mayor or police chief and complain. If they tell you, "Come to the council meeting and bring it up", don't buy it. Tell him/her that the law is already on the books and you just want it enforced without becoming a target for retribution from these mindless morons making needless noise. Go on, call them. Until enough people complain, it will only get worse. Once your community loses control of these little qualities of life, bigger crime will follow.