Sunday, July 15, 2007

OK, I'm sitting here on Sunday morning, editing my third letter to our mayor concerning the prolific, illegal exhaust noise in our town. I've pointed out the social implications of letting this undesirable element continue to contemptuously defy our noise laws, but I think that went right over his head. So my third letter is illustrating the revenue-generating potential of citing these morons with the loud pipes who are contemptuously thumbing their noses at our noise ordinance . The city is always complaining about how broke it is, so here's a way to make some money off of these jerks with loud pipes.

Almost without exception, if you can hear a vehicle's exhaust at all, it's been illegally modified to make more noise. Federal regulations dictate strict noise emmision levels on all new vehicles. During the last hour, I've heard about fifty vehicles out on the highway with illegal exhausts. Motorcycles, SUVs, semis... all with either straight pipes or non-street legal mufflers. When did illegal exhausts become legal anyway? I've contacted our Department of Public Safety, asking why the State Troopers don't cite vehicles with blatantly illegal exhausts. The head of the department replied that "noise is subjective, and they have to measure it to enforce the law... blah, blah, blah" Oh yeah? Since when? I cited our state code that says "ALL vechicles must AT ALL TIMES, have a properly functioning muffler" and removal of baffles, etc. is expressly forbidden. I pretty much called B.S. on his reply and asked him to show me the law that says noise has to be measured to be deemed a nuisance. Sorry, but there's nothing subjective about a jake-braking semi or straight-piped Harley that can be heard a mile away. I got no further response from that public official. Twice I've written to the state Director of the D.O.T. asking why commercial semis with straight pipes are allowed to pass their inspections, in direct violation of state law. No reply.

It's encouraging to see sites like noisefree.org. They are telling all you citizens out there that the law is being broken. Telling you wimps to get off your collective, complacent butts and start complaining. Call or write your city councilman and other elected representitives. Speak up. Tell them you've had enough. Enough of the bad-boy bikers claiming that "loud pipes save lives." What a crock. Loud pipes are nothing more than the look-at-me behavior one expects from a five year old.

Ever notice how it's always the truckers without mufflers who needlessly jake-brake through town, taking every possible opportunity to show us how much noise they can make. These ignorant rednecks delight in rattling our windows with their juvenile behavior... much like a squalling toddler. It's all these degenerates have to offer society, so they cram it down our throats.. and ears. What's scary is that these people reproduce.

I'm also drafting a letter to my State Representative. I don't expect any action from our state legislature. They're too busy voting themselves raises and campaigning for re-election. But at least I'm doing SOMETHING. Are you?